Dual....:-)
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
