Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
