4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
