Plan B is the new Plan A
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
