you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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