Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
