So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
