What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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