Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he thought i was a dude.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
