His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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