it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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