U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
