I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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