im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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