hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
