is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
