i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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