Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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