Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
