it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
