i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
