I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just had sex on a roof
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
