Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
