the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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