Your dad touched me again.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
