suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Let the clothes fall where they may.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
