weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
