He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
