i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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