Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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