Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
