do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
