I'm eating all of the evidence.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
