Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
