Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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