Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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