I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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