I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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