I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
