You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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