He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
