Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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