next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize