Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
