GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
