Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
