Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
