If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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