I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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