Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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